Lockdown Songs

Please Come Home

I can’t fathom out how to work our tumble drier

I can’t seem to program the cycle on the washing machine

I get all steamed up when attempting to iron

I haven’t got a clue how to get my damned clothes clean

*

So won’t you please come home tonight

Won’t you please come home

Won’t you please come home and put me right

Won’t you please, won’t you please, come home

*

The microwave won’t heat my microwave dinner

The oven’s gone on strike and will not work

My diet consists of takeaways and cider

If I don’t get a decent meal soon I’ll go berserk 

*

So won’t you please come home tonight

Won’t you please come home

Won’t you please come home and put me right

Won’t you please, won’t you please, come home

*

The kids are running riot in the bathroom

Their teacher tells me our kids are out of control

The childminder’s minding her own business

The time since you’ve been home is taking its toll

*

So won’t you please come home tonight

Won’t you please come home

I know it’s only been one night, but

Won’t you please, won’t you please, come home

Early on in Lockdown I read that carers were leaving their families to isolate themselves with the people they were caring for. It got me thinking of all those that felt abandoned by their partners (mostly male) who were confronted with living on their own for the first time and having to get their heads around using domestic appliances for maybe the first time. – Paul